Help, I cannot get it up!!!

Yes, I need help. I am in desperate need of assistance. What can I do? I cannot satisfy my girlfriend. I have not had an erection in the past two months. I think that my girlfriend is already cheating on me. What should I do? Oral sex is not enough for her, as she says "I want a man." But, "I am a man," I tell her. She goes, "does not seem like it." Oh, the pain. I feel the pain that courses through my heart and that flows all the way down to my soul. "I am a man," I keep telling myself. Yes, I am...for that was just a dream that I had last night. Or should I say, nightmare? After waking up, I rushed to the cabinet where I keep my ever trusting supermed, Viagra. Yes, there it was, I had a supply that would last me for at least a month. A supply that would keep my nightmares from become a reality...